Wedding vows: examples for him and her, plus the Catholic vows (Philippines)

Wedding vows are the promises you make at the ceremony. In a Philippine Catholic wedding they are fixed words from the rite, and personal vows wait until after communion or the reception. Civil weddings, and many Christian churches, let you write your own. Personal vows work best at about two minutes, with one memory and one promise you can keep.

Below you'll find the exact Catholic text, the rules for each kind of ceremony, and short example vows for him and for her in English and Tagalog. You can also see how a ceremony schedule reads for guests on a sample invitation.

What are the traditional Catholic wedding vows?

The Catholic vows are called the consent. For Your Marriage, the US bishops' marriage site, prints them from the English translation of the Order of Celebrating Matrimony (ICEL, 2013). The couple says the words themselves, or answers "I do" to a question from the priest.

The words you'll hear most often:

I, N., take you, N., to be my wife (husband). I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

The same promise as a question from the priest:

N., do you take, N., to be your wife (husband)? Do you promise to be faithful to her (him) in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her (him), and to honor her (him) all the days of your life?

Each partner answers "I do."

The same page lists a second, older-sounding form: "for my lawful wife (husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part." Which forms your priest uses depends on the ritual book of your parish. Ask during your Pre-Cana seminar or your interview with the parish priest, and ask whether the rite can be said in Filipino if that's the language of your families.

The vows come right after the homily and the priest's questions to the couple, and just before the blessing of the rings. Our wedding program sample has the full order of a Filipino Catholic wedding Mass.

Can you say personal vows in a Catholic wedding in the Philippines?

Not inside the rite. In January 2016, SunStar reported that the Catholic Bishops' Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) had ruled out personalized vows during the marriage liturgy. Then-CBCP president Archbishop Socrates Villegas said the rite gives no option for couples to express their love in their own words. He also said: "The liturgy is not ours to change at whim."

Cebu Archbishop Jose Palma gave the reason plainly: "The moment we allow the couple to make their personal vows then it's open to 1,000 ways of saying, which may not be true to the spirit of the marriage vows."

Both bishops left a door open. Palma said couples can say personal vows after the post-communion prayer. Villegas pointed to after Mass or the reception. Ask your parish office which of these it allows before you plan around it.

Can you write your own vows for a civil or Christian wedding?

Yes. The Family Code, Article 6 says "no prescribed form or religious rite for the solemnization of the marriage is required." The only legal requirement is that you both appear before the solemnizing officer and declare, in front of at least two witnesses of legal age, that you take each other as husband and wife. Clear personal vows with your judge or mayor when you book. Our civil wedding requirements guide covers the rest.

How long should wedding vows be?

About two minutes. The Knot suggests 250 to 300 words, which takes about two minutes at a normal speaking pace, and treats two to three minutes as a good length. Past three minutes, even your titas start checking the time.

Agree on length and tone with your partner beforehand. You don't have to share the words. But a 90-second joke followed by a four-minute letter feels lopsided to both of you and to everyone watching.

How do you write your own wedding vows?

Give yourself two weeks. The night before is too late.

1. Set a timer for 15 minutes and answer two questions without editing. When did I know? What am I actually promising?
2. Read it the next day. One idea will stand out. Build the vow around that one.
3. Write one promise that costs you something. "I'll always support you" has no edges. "I'll drive your lola to her check-ups on my day off" does.
4. Cut to 250 to 300 words.
5. Read it aloud five times. You'll find the sentence that makes your voice catch, and it won't ambush you at the altar.

"I promise to love you forever" is fine. You could also print it on a mug and sell it at SM. The vows people repeat years later are the ones only you could have written.

Wedding vows for him

These are ours, written for this guide. Treat them as starting points and swap every detail for your own.

Short (English)

"I'm not good with speeches, so here's the promise. I'll choose you on the easy days and on the long ones. I'll listen before I fix. And I'll never make you face anything alone again."

Personal (English)

"When I met you, I ate dinner standing over the kitchen sink. You never told me to sit down. I just wanted to stay at the table longer. I promise to keep choosing the longer version of everything, if it means more time with you."

Funny, but he means it (English)

"I promise to deal with the ipis. I promise to learn your mom's sinigang, even though mine will never come close. And when things get hard, I won't just say 'okay lang 'yan.' I'll sit with you until it really is."

Tagalog

"Hindi ako magaling magsalita, kaya simple lang ito. Ikaw ang uunahin ko, sa hirap at sa ginhawa. Pakikinggan kita kahit pagod na ako. At bawat umaga, ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko."

Taglish

"Mahal, starting today, wala ka nang haharapin nang mag-isa. Bills man 'yan o traffic pauwi, sabay na tayo. Ikaw ang home ko."

Wedding vows for her

Short (English)

"You're the calm in every room I walk into. I promise to be yours. I'll fight fair, forgive first and laugh with you at the things we can't change."

Observation first (English)

"I watched you fix my parents' leaking faucet on a Sunday, without being asked, when you could have slept in. That's when I knew this wasn't just dating anymore. I won't promise that life with me will always be easy. I promise I'll show up for the faucet days. Every time."

With humor (English)

"You're the only person I trust to order for me at Jollibee. That means I trust your judgment completely. I promise to trust you with the bigger decisions too. Except the aircon temperature."

Tagalog

"Noong una tayong nagkita, hindi ko alam na ikaw na pala ang hinihintay ko. Ngayon, sa harap ng Diyos at ng mga mahal natin sa buhay, ipinapangako kong mamahalin kita nang tapat, aalagaan kita sa sakit at sa kalusugan, at hinding-hindi ako bibitaw."

Taglish

"Promise, hindi tayo matutulog nang magkaaway. Ako ang unang magso-sorry, kahit minsan ikaw ang mali. Joke lang. Pero seryoso 'to: ikaw at ako, habambuhay."

Are there marriage vows in the Bible?

No. The Bible has no vow script for weddings. The passage couples borrow most is Ruth 1:16-17: "Wherever you go I will go, wherever you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God, my God."

Ruth said it to Naomi, her mother-in-law, not to a husband. That doesn't make it wrong for a wedding. For Filipino couples, who marry into each other's families, "your people shall be my people" is a fair description of the next fifty years. Use it as a reading, or borrow one line to close your personal vows.

How do you deliver your vows without breaking down?

Read from a card. Memorizing adds pressure you don't need that day, and nobody expects it.

Print the vows large enough to read through tears, then fold the card into your barong pocket or tuck it behind your bouquet. If a phone is all you have, turn on airplane mode first.

You'll probably cry. When it happens, stop and breathe. Your ninang in the front row will be crying too, and the guests will wait as long as you need.

If your vows land at the reception, give them their own slot in the reception program and tell your coordinator and emcee exactly when. Keep them apart from the speeches. Our wedding speech guide can help whoever is giving one.

Where Ceremo fits

No app will write your vows. An index card or your phone's notes app is all you need.

What Ceremo takes off your plate is everything around the vows. Each household gets its own RSVP link, guests answer without making an account, and you get a notification when they reply, so the headcount isn't one more thing to chase the month you're rewriting your second draft. It's free for up to 50 guests. Start your wedding invitation and cross one more item off your wedding checklist.